HALF BAKED SAND AND LIFE LESSONS!

So happy to be back here, writing to you. It's funny how a lot of things can happen in a couple of weeks. Just as we make it through every day, somehow, one moment appears no different than the one before it. But, now, as I look back, I've been on a mini-rollercoaster.

I might be contradicting a lot of people here, but to be frank, I love being quarantined. Okay, let me make it less weird: I love staying at home and being myself. Oh, the perks of not having to listen to that alarm whining every morning!

I felt as though I was going around like a short, frizzy-haired robot : sulking at my alarm every morning, putting on a dress and some makeup, rushing to board a vehicle, settling down at my workplace, and then, don't even get me started about the small talk!

Now, there's enough time to pause and take a deep breath. It's a privilege to be reclining on your bed with nothing but your PJ, a messy bun and a bunch of biscuits by your side. I can breathe the fresh air wafting in through the porch and hear a variety of birds cackling all day. 

Not many would find this appealing but I revel in the little things like figuring out the shapes of clouds and laughing aloud with my neice when she says 'memember' instead of 'remember'

So, bearing those happy thoughts in mind, I reckoned I'd try something I've never tried before: Baking a cake! 

Following Masterchef for a couple of weeks had awakened the beast within me (that show pumps you with some adrenaline, I tell you). So I go on with nothing but dreams of dripping caramel and scintillating chocolate in my head, tie the imaginary apron around my waist and gauge all the ingredients we were able to buy from the scantily- filled grocery stores.

I had a bunch of biscuits, milk, sliced cheese, sugar and absolutely no flour. But, I'd seen a youtube video about how you can make dough with just biscuits and milk and I thought I'd give it a try. Half way through the process, I realized you can never truly melt sliced cheese, burnt all the caramel and finally, served what looked like half-baked sand on a plate. My mum didn't even spare the honours of making me feel good. She took one bite, spat it all out and said something along the lines of  'time waste, sugar waste' (She is brutally honest with me and that's one of the many things I love about her)

I sat down and sighed. In an  instant, all my extravagant dreams of being the next materchef had gone down the trash. But, that's just about it. Forget being the next masterchef. To be an average cook, you need some patience. Sateuing, baking, frying, stirring, everything in cooking requires patience and that's definitely what I lack. I just want to throw all the ingredients into a pan and boom! I want my delicious food to magically appear.

Thankfully, God doesn't make half- baked products like me. Some of us are meant to be ice creams  or cakes while the others could be biryani, pasta, fries, grilled chicken and what not. If you ponder carefully, you'll realize there's something major that each dish has to go through. It could be boiling, deep frying, baking, churning or blast- chilling. There's always a major event that makes a dish what it truly is : spectacular and a treat to the taste buds.

I think it's the same with all of us. Apart from all the ups and downs, we might be put through something that defines what we truly are. Most of the times, this is something that causes immense pain and suffering. And in those times, it feels as though God is far away. We may feel as though we're talking to walls every time we pray. But, that's far from the truth.

I came across this short story somewhere : "Once, a little boy, struck by typhoid was hospitalized. He watched in horror as the doctor brought needles and intimidating medical instruments to treat him. How can something so sharp and scary ever heal him? He cried out to his mother who was standing on the other side of the glass enclosure, "Mama! Help me! Save me!" Tears streaming down her eyes, the mother watched him. As much as she loved her little boy, she had to let him go through that treatment. It was for his best"

This pain, this suffering that you're going through is not the end, trust me. It's a process that's making you better, stronger. There could be no diamonds wthout pressure. God is not far away. He is not turning a deaf ear to your prayers. In fact, he's in the middle of it all, churning, stirring, baking, boiling, giving you that spectacular form he's got in his mind. As much as you think the pain is killing you, it's actually turning you into something breath- taking.

I love this poem and it strengthens me so much during my darkest times :

When God wants to drill a man

And thrill a man,

And skill a man

When God wants to mold a man 

To play the noblest part

When he yearns with all his heart

To create so great and bold a man

That all the world shall be amazed,

Watch his methods, watch his ways!

How he ruthlessly perfects

Whom he royally elects!

How he hammers him and hurts him,

And with mighty blows converts him

Into trial shapes of clay which

Only God understands;

While his tortured heart is crying

And he lifts beseeching hands!

How he bends but never breaks

When his good he undertakes;

How he uses whom he chooses,

And which every purpose fuses him;

By every act induces him

To try his splendor out-

God knows what he's about.

Remember this always.

Lots of love,

Sharon

P.S : I've come a long way from half-baked sand to a life lesson, haven't I?  :P